An Optimistic View by Annie

Winston Churchill said “I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else. ” Which is very much how I feel in relation to Parkinson's. There is no point in being anything else, there is nothing I can do about it. There is no point in fighting it. There is no point in railing against it. Why me? Becomes, Why not me?
Was it always thus? No, it wasn't. It has taken nearly four years to reach this plateau.
It started with a tremor in my arm. I ignored it, a trapped nerve I thought. My GP reassured me it was not Parkinson's; not much of a reassurance since if it wasn't, what was it? MS, a tumour, motor neurone disease? He referred me to a neurologist who watched me walk in. a few tests and “I'm afraid you have Parkinson's,” he said.
The world, for a split second, stopped turning for me. I retreated into a silent dark place where fear and panic attacked my soul like black birds of prey. “Are you all right?” his voice echoed from far away. “I'm fine,” I lied.
Such emotions did not last, they could not, I would not permit them. I'd deal with this.
Without the medication I was put on I wonder if I would have dealt with this in the way I have – how fortunate we are. Without the support of my loving family and friends I doubt I would have coped – how lucky I am. It could have been worse is my chosen mantra. It won't kill me. Some days it hurts like hell. Some days I cry.
But I am an optimist. Something will turn up, a cure will come. For I remind myself that optimism and hope are kissing cousins.

Annie B