An Optimistic View by Annie

Winston Churchill said “I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else. ” Which is very much how I feel in relation to Parkinson's. There is no point in being anything else, there is nothing I can do about it. There is no point in fighting it. There is no point in railing against it. Why me? Becomes, Why not me?
Was it always thus? No, it wasn't. It has taken nearly four years to reach this plateau.
It started with a tremor in my arm. I ignored it, a trapped nerve I thought. My GP reassured me it was not Parkinson's; not much of a reassurance since if it wasn't, what was it? MS, a tumour, motor neurone disease? He referred me to a neurologist who watched me walk in. a few tests and “I'm afraid you have Parkinson's,” he said.
The world, for a split second, stopped turning for me. I retreated into a silent dark place where fear and panic attacked my soul like black birds of prey. “Are you all right?” his voice echoed from far away. “I'm fine,” I lied.
Such emotions did not last, they could not, I would not permit them. I'd deal with this.
Without the medication I was put on I wonder if I would have dealt with this in the way I have – how fortunate we are. Without the support of my loving family and friends I doubt I would have coped – how lucky I am. It could have been worse is my chosen mantra. It won't kill me. Some days it hurts like hell. Some days I cry.
But I am an optimist. Something will turn up, a cure will come. For I remind myself that optimism and hope are kissing cousins.

Annie B

My journey with Parkinson's

It was in the fall of 1999 and I was frantically making appointment after appointment with my doctor to as certain what was wrong with me. My husband had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and I was trying to accept that and was just learning what I was to confront with that horrible monster. I was sure something was very physically wrong. However, at this time, I was diagnosed with a deep depressive illness and was put on antidepressant. I couldn't accept the fact that my tremor in the left hand was psychological as the psychiatrist said. After a few months, I made an appointment with a neurologist and was subsequently diagnosed with Parkinson's. The Requip was begun , however I had a very difficult time adjusting to the medication. The neurologist persevered and eventually I had no more adverse side effects.

It is now 2009 and my condition has progressed very slowly ( or so my doctor tells me). I now have added carbodopa/levadopa to the Requip and still am able to live alone, drive my car, and generally be independent. I do have difficulty getting around in the morning, have my housework done by someone I hire, .

My friends are wonderful with me and are very helpful and patient. They do not understand though the inward pain and anxiety I have. I suppose no one but another PD sufferer can empathize with me properly. I suffer from insomnia and suppose always will. I am determined to live my life as fully as possible and sometimes I go when I have to use a cane to lean on for strength. I am so thankful that we have this forum to share our victories and defeats.
Posted by Bunny