Diagnosis Day or "D-Day" by Carol

I remember the day of my diagnosis, Tuesday 29 January 2008, like you would remember other significant days in your life such as your wedding day and the birth of your children. I’d always had restless legs which is quite common but for at least 6 months (I cant remember exactly how long) I had a ‘fidgety’ left leg. I’d finally gone to the Drs who prescribed some medication which he said was sometimes used for people with Parkinson’s. Perhaps being naive I did not think anything more of that comment, after all only old people get Parkinson’s! How wrong I was. After a couple of months on the meds, there was no improvement so he referred me to a neurologist and again I thought nothing of this, thinking he’ll say it’s a trapped nerve, stress or nothing in particular. So off I trotted to the hospital after work thinking this is a waste of time. Well within 10 minutes of being in the room and the consultant asking me a couple of questions and doing a few movements, he said “Well I’m afraid it’s bad news, you have Parkinson’s”. From then on it felt surreal, as if I wasn’t in the room and this was something happening to someone else. I broke down in tears and asked the usual questions “Will I be in a wheelchair?”, “Will I have to give up work?” (not that work is that important to me!), etc . He just continued to talk whilst I cried. I just couldn’t get out of the room quick enough, in all I must have been there less than 15 minutes and my whole world had been turned upside down.

From then on I kept asking why me, this shouldn’t be happening to me, it happens to other people. I remember being out in public and looking at complete strangers and thinking have they got it or why haven’t they got it, particularly if they looked unhealthy, were overweight or smoked. Not very nice I know. But all these and other spiteful thoughts ran through my head.

Well the last year has been different to say the least and I think I am getting on with my life the best way I can and I have stopped crying at the mention of Parkinson’s. The positives of having Parkinson’s is I hope I have more understanding and empathy for people with disabilities and chronic conditions like I would like them to have for me. It makes you realise what is important and what isn’t and to not put things off what you want to do and do them now! I’ve also met and talked to some lovely PWP on forums and the support I’ve received has literally been a life saver and I hope I can always help and support them. I don’t know what the future holds and in 5/10 years time when I read this I may feel differently, who knows, so I’ll try to live for today.

Carol, always trying to keep smiling and laughing .